Happy Irish Day...and a monkey's tale.

Being of Irish descent, I am allowed to make feckless comments my ancestry. Self-mockery is how we Irish deal with being painfully sensitive.

Hi, all, March 17...Happy Irish Day or whatever the hell it is. From what I can glean, apparently, today is a celebration of St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland, which led to an increase in the rodent population, who ate the potatoes, causing the famous potato famine, weakening the Irish, who were attacked by the English....and things has been downhill since. And you wonder why the Irish drink?

Regardless, our modern celebration consists of getting drunk, punching someone close to you, making out in the dressing room of the Banana Republic, suffering fatal allergy reactions from the green dye in the beer, getting drunk, making out (again), punching someone (again), drinking some more, try to make out, punch instead, drink some more, make out instead of punching, penning the light "comedy" Angela's Ashes.... Oh yeah, there is a parade!!

And tomorrow....wonder...how did I get this tattoo? Why is Snowflake the Kitten on my chest flashing gang signs? Bad Snowflake!!

So, enjoy this celebration of all things Irish!!

By the way, before you all get on my case for picking on the Irish...I am totally kidding. Being Irish rocks, and we got alot to be proud of. Hopefully, this disclaimer will keep me from getting my ass...punched. Truth be told, it is mostly the non-Irish who are doing all this punching/puking/drinking; I will cop to that Irish are great at making out...yeah, we are. We got the gift of gab, you know. We also invented kissing...and unlike the Dutch, we pay for our date's dinner.

Wait....before you head out to the tavern....please....monkey mayhem continues...this is why I tell people...don't give monkeys your Prozac, Zanax, Ritalin...

The monkey shown here got zonked out, mauled a lady, and had to be brought down in a hail of gunfire with the cops... Freaky monkey...good shooting, my Irish brethren in blue!! It takes an Irish to handle this sort of thing.

On this day, of all days, as your celebrate my Irishness, beware of monkeys.

First Distracted, now this....


Personal note to BP: NO!! Don't do that again.