My First Hockey Game....and My Last

I went to my first hockey game ever last week...it was between some guys in blue against some guys in black. Our corporate client granted our team the use of their sky box? Private room that looks down on the poor people? Whatever it was, we had a good view.

It was...fun-tertaining. The hockey, while I can appreciate the challenges of gliding across ice balanced precariously on knife blades, left me...cold. I was bored. Hardly anyone watched the game.

I was amazed at how every bit of space was utilized for advertising something or other. It made me apprehensive about using the toilet there. There was also a mostly naked, pasty white dumpling of a fan running in his yellow speedo...it was white when he first arrived. He kept trying to score and getting rebuffed. I tried to take his picture but my camera vomited in agony.

I like the racing cheeses....commercial, but endearingly stupid.


There was a blimp that kept circling the stadium during lulls, dropping leaflets of crap...mostly coupons for pizza...and cheese. I imagined that the turbines were whispering to me "you fat.....you fat.....you fat....you fat."

Yeah, I have packed on a few winter pounds, blimp, but there was no need to be hurtful. It's been too cold to run....and, well, your words, were hurtful, ok, blimp? You are no junior petite yourself, but I didn't mock YOUR girth, now, did I?

No teeth were knocked out. What was the point, I wonder?