Calm down!! It's only m-m-m-m-oney!

There has been a spate of people "self-terminating" or "self-shaming" over their financial burdens in this Busheque recession. I know... I am irrationally blaming G. Bush for the reccession or depression or crapession...whatever you want to call it, it means. collectively, the world no longer has walking around money in its fanny pack.

Some poor German billionaire who slipped to #94 on the Forbes list (losing a few hundred million will do) allegedly choo-choo-choosed to kill himself (via train, wonder if he was Deaf?). Below is the security camera image before the incident.

Even the "landed" gentry are not safe. A poor realtor allegedly shot himself in his Jaguar. http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/07/illinois.realestate.death/

I was going to buy a Jaguar myself a few years ago, but thank Shaka Zula that I got the Honda Accord (Special Edition) instead. It has a sunroof that I can hardly use because I live in the Land of the Endless Snow and Winter. With my mordant bent, my love of Leonard Cohen, and excess pep, that could have been me.

But things are looking up...the "wealthy with money" problems trend is getting lighter and cuter. This week, a millionaire (ha ha, millionaire...the "poor" one when the billionaires) faked his death in a plane crash. As I write this, he apparently rode his motorcycle into the woods of Indiana or something to elude the police. Good luck, pal!! Way to dodge!!
Pippa picked the wrong day to go see Budgie...

Money problems are no reason to end it, or even to fake it to the shame of all who know you and care about you. I know of from wherence I speak. One time, I lost $5 at the local Bowl-A-Rama playing Galaga. Even though I still had like $20, that loss hurt so bad, I tried to end it by running in front of a Girl Scout on a bike. She swerved, and her handle-bars hit my head, rendering me Deaf but not Dead. I learned so much from that, namely, that suing the Girl Scouts for emotional damages was doomed to failure.

Remember, no matter how bad it gets, you can always make money, but you can't always make life..or even love. I wish I could sing the Pina Colada song right...it'll be midnight in almost three hours. I bet you just swooned over how deep I am...probably thinking..."Not only is he Deaf, but he is so pithy and witty too, with a clever turn of phrase". I can either be clever or I can be wealthy...clever is more fun.

Money isn't worth dying over.