Skeeter Crotch*

* Title of this entry was suggested by SpinePuncher.

In pain now.

I took Barkles out so that she could "make water". While waiting for her to select the ideal spot, I was swarmed by mosquitoes. They were countless in number, a shifting gray-black cloud of bloodsuckers thirsting for my sweet, sweet, tangy honey-mustard plasma flowing through my veins and arteries...there were at least 5.

With my usual aplomb, I fended them off by flailing my arms and punching the air, and shrieking like a screech owl attacking a Rhesus monkey. I was doing OK until I saw one headed for my nether regions. Not so fast, was my last coherent thought....

...as I aimed for that mosquito with a clenched first and punched myself, hard, in the crotch.

It still hurts.

Did I mention I was an honors student? Yeah. In English.