First Socrates, then Nietzsche, and now Larry Harmon - A Dearth of Philosophers

Philosophy is an interesting humanity that attempts to make some sense of life, death, and everything in between. From the time that, Creationist beliefs aside for the moment, the first Neanderthal smacked his first female in the head with a club in a martial ceremony most culture adhere to today, we as living beings have attempted to make sense of it all.

I can imagine how that primitive attempt at a first school of philosophy went.

"Yeah, I smacked her in the head, and now we have a passel of cave-children running around. The mammoth are plentiful. No marauders dot the distant horizon. Yet, as I lay here on the tundra, I wonder...what does it all mean? Surely, we have a nobility of purpose, a higher divinity, a worth of self that surely justifies our existence?"

Cracker-jack philosophy tends to flourish when times are good, and discarded in favor of practicality when times are bad.

Early philosophy attempts were often demolished via charges of witchcraft, chicanery, or boredom. The first lesson was...don't be too smart. That definitely still applies today.

Socrates, Plato, and that other nice Greek boy, Aristotle, whiled away their time dithering about the meaning of life, trying to appear broodier and smarter than they actually were, and in generally, just annoying the hell out of the "regular" people. (the Nascar set). In my opinion, Socrates was probably the most irritating of all to me, simply because of his smart-ass "unexamined life" comment.

Soccy, as I call him, sassed some Athenian politicos and legal beagles by trying to talk his way out of charges against him. He stated "the unexamined life is not worth living". Guess what, Soccy? You do not have examine to enjoy life; I therefore deem you to be full of crap. I wasted so many years examining the hell out of life, and as a result, I missed my Glee Club initiation, junior prom, the Preteen Republicans Turkey Hunt, and when Nirvana first burst on the scene.

Why? Because I was busy examining life. In my ruffled shirt, armed with a broody mien and notebook, I trudged the world, thinking and thinking and thinking and of course, examining. Technically, I trudged just the redneck-infested mountains of Virginia, but you get the gist. You have any idea how tough it is to think in a ruffled shirt while fending off marriage proposals from confused but well-meaning mountain folk who think you have a "purty mouf, lady!!". Apparently, I wore the wrong type of ruffles.

Soccy, your new posthumous name is Suckorates as far as I am concerned. Suckorates is dead...apparently, he drank something that did not agree with him. No amount of Pepto Bismol could have relieved him of his fatal tummy ache. Perhaps he should have just put the lime in the coconut and shut up.

Next up was Nietzsche (or Nutcheese as I call him)...a personal fave, I must confess. Talk about broody emo-depressive...if this boy had a blog, I imagine it would be something like my blog ...full of depressing, literary pretension, sans the enchanting light humor and charm. Nutcheese was a bit more fun then Suckorates, though...he had a practical cast on life, and plenty to say about women, love, life, and death. Check out his fun-loving nature here...my favorite, of course, is the generic "And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ". Sheesh, an abyss doesn't even have eyes...duh. He's dead now,too. Probably playing badminton in the heaven he claimed not to believe in with Suckorates and the rest...having a bit of a chuckle.

I could have gotten more out of life sooner had I discovered Larry Harmon before Suckorates and Nutcheese. You'll know him better as Bozo the Clown...one of them. There is come controversy to whether he was the "real" Bozo, the "original" Bozo, or the "final" Bozo. There are several schools of thought on this national issue that has divided families, and caused untold pain for millions. I would like to add a thought to that...

...it's a fricking clown, people!! If someone wants to paint their face, put on funny hair and large shoes, and act like I usually do in public, and going by some clownish name like Bozo, Kickles, or George Bush, then let them. It's a free country, thought subject to false charges as a "person of interest" and excessive liberality with government wiretapping.

The point is...Bozo is us. And we are Bozo. We should never forget this. We meander through the pratfall of being born, learning, loving, and dying. Life is a series of maddeningly funny events until you go to your own big clown car in the sky. The important this is...stop examining and live, stay the hell away from peeping-tom abysses, and love, laugh, and live...simply that.

It's what Larry Harmon espoused...and it's not a bad philosophy.

Good-bye, Larry...thank you for the laughs. You understood life to be what it is.